A few things the Doctor (or anyone) never tells you about pregnancy...

So, I've come up with a few things that might be helpful to someone who is wanting to get pregnant or may get pregnant in the near future that might be good to know as far as what you're getting yourself into. If you're already pregnant or have already been pregnant, you may enjoy the not-as-funny-as-it-sounds-when-you're-the-one-experiencing-it kind of things. Enjoy.

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1. First Trimester = You can TRY to eat FIRST but either way, you're eventually going to throw up no matter what. 

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2. You may enjoy eating a full meal at the time, but be prepared to hold your breath for at least an hour because that is how long it will take you to be able to breathe again. 

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3. When out in public, everyone is automatically your best friend/mother/doctor and feels the need to ask you all sorts of questions about your pregnancy and to offer any advice that they feel needs to be share.  

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4. Sleep deprivation starts long before you ever have a screaming baby at night. With your growing belly, your hips will start to hurt and you will need to rotate from side to side more times throughout the night than a rotisserie chicken. On top of that, "more frequent urination" does not even begin to describe the number of times you will have to get up to pee throughout the night - it just about outnumbers the times your baby wakes you up with the hiccups. 

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5. Caution: Sneezing may cause involuntary piddle in your pants.

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6. In order to shave your legs, you must automatically become the newest contortionist act in your shower. 

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7. When it happens, pooping has never been so exciting and relieving. 

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8. At any moment, with any stretch of your calf, a charlie horse cramp can attack and it will take wrestling your leg like an alligator to get it to go away. 

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9. No one ever tells you what a contraction feels like, they just tell you to time them. How does this work?

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10. Pregnancy is probably the one time in your life that it is ok for people to point out that you're "growing" or "getting bigger." And even then, it's not the best feeling, especially when you weigh more than you ever have before and have long outweighed your husband. 

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That's it for now, I'm sure there will be more to come.