Lately

I tell you what...pregnancy is an emotional rollercoaster. In my case, it's had a lot more downs than ups, but I'm making it through. This past week I've been really depressed for no real apparent reasons. I have really been missing my friends and family, I've become anxious again about the birth, and I've just been by myself all day everyday at our apartment with no where to go and no one to see. I like to say I'm experiencing "pre-part-with-him" depression rather than your usual postpartum depression. I am hoping that it is mainly a hormonal thing and that I will feel better once he gets here and I am busy again, but for now things are looking pretty blue in my world. I am so excited for my family to come visit and know that that will definitely help with the loneliness since I won't be alone for weeks! I'm ok with that...I'm not really one who craves "alone time." I get too much of that as it is!

I have also been concerned, though, about once they leave, being all alone with a baby! There really is no one close by that we know that has children or who I can just call up with random questions for help or anyone to just stop by to keep me company. This has bothered me for a while, but it's becoming more and more of a concern for me and I'm kind of starting to freak out. I know this phase will pass and I'll get used to being a mom and I'll even feel confident enough to go out in public on my own with the baby, but I can't say I'm not worried about it. SO all of this to say, I'd like to ask that you would pray for me. Pray for these next few (hopefully just) days until the baby comes that I'll keep busy enough and not let being alone get me down. Pray also that I'll have a safe and uncomplicated delivery and healthy baby. Pray that we would make friends in Simi who are in the same phase of life as we are and pray that I would have a peace about being in California all together. Thanks!